Journal · Uncategorized

Shoot for the Stars

Buckle up and grab your beverage of choice, this is a rambling update on my world!

This week. Oh this week, let me tell you. This is my week, the week to end all weeks. At least this year. This week holds the end of the school year for my daughter who is in the second grade. Her week is full of trips and picnics and exciting things. Which is keeping me busy trying to keep it all straight and making sure she has the appropriate clothing and supplies each day.

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Today, I have my grant finalization meeting. I get to spend hours with my counselor going over my application and finalizing everything. And, barring a missing program acceptance letter (the school only moves as quickly as it feels like) we will sign and stamp and have the application ready to deliver. My counselor has never sent in an application for this grant and had it refused. So her saying it’s done is basically my approval.

Thursday I have court. It has been seven years in the making. I have tried multiple times and been bullied out of it, been to afraid, or only made so much progress and become so exhausted by the process that I just took what I could get as “good enough for now”. I’m nervous, yet confident I will be granted most of what I’m asking for. I can finally close the door on my ex, the abusive past, and his minor yet very heavy hold on my sanity. I can walk away knowing a judge looked at everything, I asked for the maximum amount of anything I could get monetarily, safety wise and legally and made a decision. I can live with that. I’m prepared to not get 100% of my wishes granted. This is the legal system, not a fairy tale. Friday is for follow up with my counselors and then celebration.

Then for a few days I plan on being lazy. As lazy as I possibly can be. I’m talking binge watching TV, laying in bed reading books all day and eating junk food. Because after I get some solid r&r in, it’s crunch time. I’ve realized my home and it’s condition is causing major fluctuations in my anxiety which I though I was getting to a manageable place this year. While it’s possible the culmination of this weeks events is adding to it, I know if I could de-cluttered my home I would feel much less clutter in my mind.

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I’ve been looking at different methods of cutting clutter online. The one that seems to be popping up the most is the KonMari method. Deciding if items “spark joy” is a little hippy dippy for my tastes. And while I do enjoy talking to inanimate objects, they’re usually electronics, not socks. However I do like her systemic plan of attack for you abode. I have a budget of about zero, so anything that involves buying organizational systems, or storage bins etc is just not a feasible plan for me. Have any of you tried it or other successful methods of de-cluttering and organization? Any tips?

I would like to chronicle my experience of trying to get some order among the chaotic space I live in. A little order in my galaxy, if you will. I want control back, I want my creativity back, I want a thirst for life again. And this is my journey to get it. Hop in the spaceship, because we’re blasting off.

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Image via YoYo the RiceCorpse

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